Showing posts with label Despair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Despair. Show all posts

14 October 2006


One of my very favorite songs of all times!
I think no matter how much I say that I love it, it's will never be enough to express the way I love it!
It's this kind of songs which you love everything about, Music, Lyrics, Arrangment and the singer performance.

The song released in the year 2002 (Arabic), I just found out that there is a Turkish version of it released in the year 2004...The Turkish song called "Hadi Git" and it was performed by "Seden Gürel".
It's happens a lot over her, sometimes Turkish use Arabic songs and sometimes Arabs takes Turkish music...Sometimes It's legally others not (It's was legal this time).

Song name: Benoub (Never)
Singer: Najwa Karam
Album: Tahamooni (2002)
Writer and composer: Marwan Khoury
Arranged by: Mohammed Mustafa
Translated by: Me

Never ever go away from me...
My eyes don't sleep because my beloved is coming tonight...
I wish we could find a medicine to cure my agony...
Time seems to pass at a slow pace with our date getting closer.

The evening wind as a signal of separation, It was blowing north while I sat by myself, Suddenly a warm breeze blew and reminded me of my beloved's smile!
O you sadness standing ready to stab my heart with your spears!

The night of mourning is over...
My beloved is coming back to live in (fill) my heart...
Life passes in an eye glance...
O darling, where are you? Come back to save my love!

10 July 2006

Stairs to heaven

Stairs to heaven
Originally uploaded by radiant guy.
She always said "Tell others about your problems/pain so they don't envy you for a perfect life that you don't really have" .

Yesterday 8th of July 2006, my grandmother passed away (my mother's mother), just four weeks after my uncle's death; my mother found out late night and she was crying until today, my brother and I were staying with her for a while, until it's was 3 AM so I went to bed because I had to wake up early for work but I didn't sleep, I was rolling over in bed until morning then I fall a sleep like there is no tomorrow and I skipped work.
My grandmother been through a lot, her husband (unfortunately the law call him my grandfather) used to hit her and to humiliate her but she didn't care because of her children; when they became older she walked away. And later he got married again to a "SLUT" who treated my late uncle (passed away 4 weeks ago when he was 45 years old only) and my youngest aunt very bad.
May their souls rest in peace, probably they already meet each others, he is her only son; they didn't see each others since late 1980s.

Photo is dedicated to my grandmother Zahrah (Arabic for "A flower") 19XX - 2006, my uncle, my friend's mother and all our beloved decedents.

09 June 2006

Absolute DESPAIR (read me)

Absolute DESPAIR (read me)
Originally uploaded by radiant guy.
We've been told that there is a sunrise after each sunset, but it's seems we always miss it!
We've been told that there is a light in the end of the tunnel, but we've never reached it!
We've been told when a door closes a window open, BULL SHI*!

My uncle (my mother's little brother) passed away yesterday, he is been through a lot during his short life time…Been treated badly by his step mother, his father, step brothers, step sisters, wife, his other brothers and sisters except my mother!
He is a man with a special need (disabled physically not mentally), no body wanted to be around him, everybody was rejecting him. Been living in our house for the last two years but since the last few months he started to be lonely, sometimes he seemed that he was pushing away some kind of invisible bad people or maybe Devils. (Sent by his witch step mother, YES a witch, it's mentioned in the holly book and I do believe in it although no one saw a ghost and that's only because the science couldn't invent the right equipments yet and probably never will).
Anyway the last two months or so, he preferred to be lonely, he just started to obviate us including my mother (his sister) whose been the closest person in the whole world to him…he was ignoring us and locking his room's door.
We didn't found out that he passed away until few days later when my father was watering the trees and he noticed a weird smell!

Wednesday 7th of June 2006, is the worst day in our life, my mother almost had a nerve breakdown, she can't stop crying since then, she is blaming her self and she thinks that she treated him badly, my sister and brothers seemed hopeless, my father blood sugar increased (diabetes).

Step brother and his wife, two step sister, his father and his step mother (most of them I've never saw in my life) came to our house when they found out trying to tear up like they really care!
Step brother and step sister were disrespecting my mother and that's when I lost my mind and kicked them all out, my (so called) grand father is over 70 maybe 80 or 20010 (who cares?!) was swearing, I told him shut up or I would slap you on the face!
They were fighting us in our own house!
My father, my brother and I were kicking them all out while my sister and mother were trying to prevent us (They didn't want us to perpetrate a crime and lose our furure on bunch os bu** holes), I was extremely furious...Screaming get out of here because rubbish such as you belongs to the street you whor*s!
I mentioned many words I've never did before.

As soon as they all gone, my heart almost popped out of my chest, my body was shaking, I couldn't breath, my vision was gone partially (but never told my family about that and thank god they didn't notice I didn't want to cause more depression), and my legs were paralyzed.
I always have that condition when ever I am really mad or really depressed that's why I try to control my self not to reach that point by making jokes of everything and make others laugh if I could (perhaps some flickrists noticed that through my comments and/or photos descriptions).

No one of my family including my mother (his closest relative) went to the memorial ceremony because we didn't want to make a big scene with the others and we wanted him to rest in peace (at least eventually) :(

Uncle "Mossa" 1961 - 2006 (Arabic for Moses)..
May God mercies him and may his soul rest in peace